Monday, June 17, 2013

IKEA...Swedish retail torture

Yesterday I went to IKEA to pick up a shoe horn. They make very good long and inexpensive shoe horns that my husband needs as he is in recovery.

I should have stopped when I saw the GIGANTIC three stories high monstrosity in yellow and blue with the letters IKEA. But how hard can it be?

The store asks you what floor you wish to go to, and you have to walk through endless and I mean endless mazes of things that you do not want, do not need and have no intention of ever buying. You cannot go quickly because there are people, mainly women I may add that browse and oohhh and ahhh for pleasure. Yes, there are people that enjoy the experience!  I am sure there is medication for these deluded people worshipping the alter of consumption.

Why should I have to pass by bathroom displays, rugs, childrens rooms...kitchens, living room and lighting to get the shoe horn. Ahh but you do that is part of the experience. And just as you think you are at the end...and see the glorious sign saying EXIT and PARKING you enter another maze, this time a restaurant with Swedish meatballs.

To me IKEA is a giant maze and we are the rats. We want the cheese but by God we have to work to get it. I met a man, equally annoyed who had to lap the store three times before he found his cheese. I like warehouses with a catalogue. I pick out my item, and an employee enters the vast warehouse and maze and finds my item. I am not interested in exploring mazes and figuring out puzzles and fighting through reams of fabric displays to get my one small piece of cheese.

As I went to pay, the young clerk said "Do you have a rewards card..they are free you know" I said no, this is my ONLY time I will ever shop in Ikea. By the way, I bought TWO shoe horns.

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