AN EXCESS IN ALL THINGS

King David had to set aside one third of his army to guard his stuff. His stuff, booty and treasures became a burden to him. His stuff cause him a lot of pain, yet he could not get rid of it. He was addicted you could say.

I wonder about my addiction to stuff. Why do I buy anything? Why do I have so many fountain pens (in the guise of a collection), what is it with my golf balls? Why do I have three pair of white running shoes? Why do I need four pair of cycling glasses....and on it goes.

I am starting to realize that stuff is a burden and an addiction. Our cities are designed around stuff but I am slowly, like an addict who admits to a problem, starting to see the light.

The light began to turn on when I was on a bike trip and passed through one of those shops that sells pottery, dolls, rugs...you know the type. My friends were ooing and ahhing..but I was immune to the charms of that shop. I did buy a soap.

I have more bars of handmade and handcrafted soap than anyone I know, barring the soapmakers. I am not sure why.

I now do a lot of cycling. I have enough cycling clothing to last a lifetime...it was on sale...but why? To my credit, I have stopped buying cycling kits for some months now as I realized it was excessive.

But why do we, why do I do things to excess? I have always done so. Like a junkie looking for that one great high...trying to repeat it. With soap..as a teen I liked Rogers and Galette soap..the great smell. So now...well never can get that 'high'

So I am drowning in stuff. Occasionally I will purge and give away piles of materials, magazines, books, clothing...but the basement is still full...camping gear...from my canoe tripping days...sleeping bags for summer and winter...antique snow shoes..wooden skis...why?

When you have stuff to this extent you are never really free.  I am starting to realize that food for me is like stuff. I eat well...but I eat too much. Like having so many bars of soap. It is as if I am looking for a thrill ..but cant get it.

Addicts I know are people who live to excess in all things. Hallowe'en decorations in August, Santas on the roof...largess in all things. They are looking for a high, for a measure of satisfaction in things. It is easy to see this but perhaps harder in my case. In my case, my motto has appeared to be excess in all things.

Time to moderate. I will wean my addiction by avoiding shops...and vowing not to purchase any more soap until the last flake of my considerable collection has been used. I will also apply this understanding to food and not use it as a medicine to satiate my appetite for the impossible, for the excessive, or for the thrill.

I am getting off the roller coaster..the ride is over.